We are so happy to announce that we are pregnant again! I am 12 weeks along and so far, everything seems to be going well. There's not much the doctors can tell this early on, so the next couple of months will hold the critical answers we are waiting for. We have decided not to do any early genetic testing - we are just waiting, and trusting God, that all will be well at our 20 week ultrasound.
This pregnancy has been certainly emotionally taxing and faith testing so far. We have fears. I am terrified. I have spent countless hours in prayer begging for peace, faith and that all will be perfect this time. I thank God for this little one and find myself feeling guilty at times for allowing the fear to steal my joy for this pregnancy. It's a daily struggle right now. We find ourselves trying not to get too excited with the thought in our heads that if we let ourselves get too high on emotions, it will just be that much larger of a heartache when it doesn't work out again. I hate this. I hate that our only knowledge of pregnancy and childbirth is such a traumatic one.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there with us every step of the way with Annalise. She is such a treasured gift and I am so happy that she is my first child - I will never forget every moment of all my firsts with her (whether they be good or bad). Please continue to pray for us that we can have peace and joy in this pregnancy and for a happy, healthy baby.
I wanted to share a verse from my devotions this morning. For some reason, through the loss of Annalise and every day afterward, this particular devotional has spoken EXACTLY what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it... it's great. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
When I'm desperately searching for peace right now, and full of fear, God speaks a huge reminder into my life. I know, no matter what, that everything will be okay.
