Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Sunday, August 19, 2012

1 year

My sweet Annalise,

I can't believe that it has been 1 year since I held you.  This last year has been so crazy.  It has been filled with pain, sorrow, anger, hatred, love, joy, anticipation, anxiety, fear... it has been exhausting.  I have thought of you every day and have missed you tremendously.  Thank you for the special moments when I just know that you are smiling at me from heaven and sending a little "hello" my way - moments such as hearing "our song" on the radio when I'm really feeling down and missing you.

This year has also brought us your sister - Ava.  Having all these first moments with Ava just makes me think of you even more and reinforces the pain of losing you.  I never knew until now the depths of what I was forfeiting when I lost you.  I look at your sister and I see you.  You two really look alike and I can't help but wonder if your personalities would have been similar. I thank God I will have you BOTH one day... what a blessing.

Daddy and I visited your "resting place" today and dressed it all up for your 1 year birthday - balloons and flowers.  I know you are having the most amazing celebration in heaven.  A celebration that can't compare to anything here on earth and I am grateful for that.

Happy Birthday sweetheart.
I love you with my whole heart...